Reflecting on a Year of Solo Female Travel: My 23rd Birthday
I was briefly living just outside of Pattaya, Thailand, when I celebrated my 22nd birthday with my Welsh friend Ryan, who I was living with at the time. He remembered me telling him how strawberry cake reminds me of home, so he bought me the best hot pink strawberry cake he could locate in our Soi (neighborhood/alley) to celebrate my birthday.
Sat on a park bench in our shitty apartment complex with a bottle of cheap red wine, I blew out the golden number candles on my cake and declared,
“Cheers to a year of full-time travel- even if it means going alone.”
And just as manifestation goes, my 22nd birthday wish came true.
I’ve spent the past year moving around as a solo female traveler.
Today is my 23rd birthday.
But first, let me reminisce over the past year as a 22-year-old experiencing full-time travel.
Abundant
From my solo travel, I’ve gained insurmountable life experience and learned much about myself, others, and the world around me.
I’ve learned so much about what I like and dislike. I don’t like drinking excessively, but I like to try a national beer in each country I visit. I have difficulty trusting strangers, yet almost all of my time is spent around people I haven’t known for over a few days. I love night markets, but I feel scared when engulfed in crowds of people.
I also have endless stories to tell. I’ve snorkeled in Nha Trang, Vietnam, partied in Seoul, South Korea, surfed in the Galapagos Islands of Ecuador, and bathed elephants in Chiang Mai, Thailand. For crying out loud, my whole blog is about my crazy life as a solo female traveler and what I’ve experienced.
I’ve been showered with more love than I ever imagined possible. After being a guest teacher in Indonesia, I have affectionate children who idolize me for my beauty and brain. Former students of mine in Thailand still send me pictures of their art and tell me how much they miss me being their teacher. I’ve lived with my best friend in Pattaya, going on trips every weekend, and had the best coworkers/ girlfriends a girl could ask for when working at a Catholic school in Bangkok. Some of the most incredible people I have ever encountered have been people I’ve spent short amounts of time with abroad. But love isn’t measured by time.
I’ve also fallen in love many times. During the beginning of my solo travel, I got engaged in Malaysia to a Moroccan man I met the day before. I’ve been on dates with a variety of interesting people from all over the world, from exclusive restaurants in fancy sky lofts to small local night markets that only have a few stalls: Doctors, pilots, bankers, and even poker champions. I’ve immersed myself in many different lives with many different characters, playing a new role each time.
I’ve experienced that the most beautiful things in life are natural. I will never forget the rock formations in the waters of Southern Thailand, or the volcanos and valleys scattered around the vast island of Java, Indonesia. I’ve spent countless mornings on white sand beaches in Vietnam and southern Cambodia, staring out into the sea. When I want to retreat, I hide in the mountains of northern Thailand or Laos and wait as time passes slowly while gazing at the towns below. I am constantly amazed by the beauty and diversity of our planet. Solo travel really allows you the time to soak it all in.
I’ve experienced more than just the physical; I’ve experienced the emotional. My extensive solo travel has made me emotionally intelligent and a superb problem solver. I’ve developed an uncanny ability to navigate even the most complex or unfamiliar situations. Whether deciphering a foreign transit system, communicating across language barriers, or finding my way through winding alleyways in an unfamiliar city, there isn’t a destination I can’t reach or a problem I can’t solve.
I am a solo female traveler.
I’m independent. I swear not even Mother Nature can stop me when my mind is set on something. I’ve learned to rely on my abilities, trust my instincts, and push beyond my comfort zone.
I’m confident. I know the value of my knowledge and experiences is priceless, and I carry this with pride and passion. I recognize that the knowledge I’ve gained can’t be easily replicated or taught in a classroom. It’s a form of experiential wisdom I’ve earned through countless challenges and triumphs.
This awareness of my value doesn’t stem from arrogance- but from a genuine appreciation of my journey. I carry this confidence with me in every interaction and endeavor. It fuels my passion for continued growth and exploration and empowers me to enthusiastically take on new challenges during my solo travel.
Moreover, I feel responsible for sharing my experiences and insights about full-time travel with others. My pride in my accomplishments is coupled with a desire to inspire and educate, to show others the transformative power of stepping out of one’s comfort zone and embracing the unknown, and to tell people the truth of what lies beyond.
That is why I created this blog. Anyone who reads it can see that this is no quick money grab; this is passion. I am so grateful for my past year of solo travel, as it has inspired me to share my unique stories with the world in hopes of building an online community of women like me who are also interested in solo female travel.
The Struggles
And yet… For everything beautiful that has happened, there have also been many struggles.
I’m jaded. I have come to believe that excessive travel is a form of hedonism. Sometimes, it feels like everything is the same everywhere I go. It’s just another place with another set of characters.
For every fantastic story I have, I also have an equally alarming experience. I’ve been attacked in the street in Thailand for being foreign and bullied by Thai teachers who called me fat every day in an attempt to box me into the Asian beauty standard. I’m scared to go to clinics when I’m sick because I know they will ask inappropriate questions about my sexual health out of “curiosity” about foreigners. I’ve been followed home while walking in the streets of Taiwan and catcalled excessively throughout the Philippines. Experiences like this make me want to retreat and hide in my shell like a hermit. This is the reality of being a solo female traveler abroad.
For all of the wonderful friends I’ve made, I have had to leave them all behind. Every month is a new city or country, and I cannot build a stable community of people I can count on and see often. Knowing that “goodbye” is often truly a final goodbye can be the loneliest feeling in the world.
I’ve also been heartbroken more times than I would like to admit. The man I got engaged to in Malaysia? One argument later, and I never saw him again. Anyone I’ve dated or befriended in a city swiftly gets left behind as I move on to my next destination. I feel exhausted starting over all the time.
For all of the beautiful things I have seen, I feel guilty sometimes because I worry that I take them for granted. Sometimes, I have imposter syndrome and think that someone more appreciative deserves to see and experience these things more than I do.
“Everybody should come here. Everyone should see how complicated, how deeply troubled, and yet at the same time, beautiful and awesome the world can be. Everyone should experience, even as the clouds gather, what’s at stake, what could be lost, what’s still here.”
-Anthony Bourdain
But I am thankful—more than thankful. You can’t have good days without bad days. If you removed everything flawed from an imperfect life, even that would lose its imperfection. So, I will continue to let the bad days roll off my back and keep looking forward to my best days. For everything wrong that has happened, there is triple the love I have received from the diverse people and places I have encountered during my solo travel.
Today
A year of full-time travel has been a rainbow; the highest highs and lowest lows.
Today, I am 23. Tonight, the moon is a Waning Crescent with a subtle 12% illumination. I am a Virgo sun and Aquarius moon, born in the Chinese zodiac year of the snake.
I am not sure how 23-year-olds are supposed to feel because I am new at this, but I feel older. I feel as if I’ve lived 1,000 different lives already, and somehow, all of my memories are crammed into this small, 150-cm-tall body.
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”
-Anthony Bourdain
August 30.
So today, to celebrate my birthday here in Taiwan, I went to the gynecologist. It’s weird, but it’s the truth. That’s what I’ve done today. It was my first time using the gynecological chair. It’s not the ideal birthday morning, but I am 23 now, so I took it like a champ. When it was all said and done, the doctor drew me a picture and even let me look under the microscope.
After I left the doctor, I called my parents and best friend and walked to a cafe to upload this post. I’m alone, but I am happy. Surprisingly, I don’t feel lonely, despite the birthday scaries. I’m enjoying an iced Americano and people-watching out the second-floor window.
Tonight, I’ll have an espresso martini, go on a walk, and enjoy the simple things, like roadside peaches and the smell of scallion pancakes. I’ll think about my next destination in my solo travel journey. I’m thankful for these opportunities abroad and want to absorb every second of my unique life.
New Manifestations
So… I have two things I would like to do at 23 years old. Two new manifestations, if you will.
- I want to be a successful solo female travel blogger. Although my blog is still in its early stages, I would love to push myself and take it to the next level. I want to create something that makes me and others proud. I want to create meaningful content that inspires other women to travel.
- I want to walk the entire Via De La Plata, the longest and least traveled route of the Camino de Santiago. I have many reasons for this longing, which will be explained another day.
Final Thoughts
Thank you for reading my birthday post about being a *now* 23-year-old solo female traveler. Please read some of my recent blog posts to make my birthday wish come true, and hopefully you’ll even find some inspiration somewhere in the mix. Cheers to 23!
